Plan A – the one without rivers of blood
Living in that most shitty of things, a banana republic without the sunshine, you will all no doubt be sitting there tonight drinking your 4.99 Merlot and wondering how to get rid of these corrupt bastards currently ruining our country. Fear not, Frank has a plan.
Several plans in fact, but this one, as you may have gathered, involves no piano wire, no lamp posts, no brutal slaughter at all. I know, I know, you were looking forward to that – well look, it’s a first draft okay?
Here’s the deal – we get Liz to do it. Let’s face it, she’s had a fine old time this past 80 odd years, not exactly pushed in her work, not exactly driven to extremes, well Your Maj, it’s time you earned your keep. We cannot cope with another year of this psychotic in Downing Street – public contempt for parliament generally is at an all time high, we’re a figure of fun around the world, the economy is going down the toilet, three out of every five pounds we earn is being given to a banker, the currency is being debased with QE, the FT actually souned pretty scared today, reporting on future public debt figures…
It has to end. These bastards need to be driven from office. Now.
There’s an easy way, and a hard way. The hard way will see record piano wire sales, and then perhaps years of chaos. You dont’ want that do you Queenie? The easy way sees you call a press conference at Buck House, gather the world’s media, and announce, regardless of any constitutional niceities, that you are dissolving Parliament for fresh elections.
About nine people will whine about it. Gordon, Polly, a few constitutional lawyers, some BBC gobshites. The rest of us will cheer.
So, I’ve put together a little petition which I hope may be picked up by other bloggers, other sources, and spread – let’s do this. If you want change, now, sign the petition. Right or Left or Green or Brown; we can all at least agree that the current situation is awful. We need an election. Let’s petition the Queen to give us one. Sign up here.
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14. May 2009 at 7:10 pm :
Done. You never know, if enough people sign it… …
16. May 2009 at 12:52 pm :
I think it would take a couple of million, but as you say, you never know…
Weirder things than this have snowballed – ta!
3. June 2009 at 10:21 am :
Brown is so mental that even the dissolution of parliament would not get him out of no 10. The autistic totalitarian freak needs to be removed by force. The rest of the traitorous scum need biblical justice. Amen.
12. June 2009 at 8:24 am :
We didn’t put John Major’s maladministration out of our misery in 1996 and they clung on to the bitter end. This is how the system is supposed to work, you will just have to develop the old fashioned virtues of patience. The world survived the hopeless Major Tory administration, it survived eight years of Dubya and it will survive another year of Gordon Brown.
Foolish people used to question Maggie Thatcher’s attachment to democracy and whether she would ever accept losing a general election. They were fools then and those who write the same nonsense about Gordon Brown are equally childish and wrong.
The recession is coming to an end as they usually do, the economy is starting to move again. By this time next year there will have been a general election and we’ll be looking forward to the World Cup. it will all look much rosier unless you are associated with the red rose of Labour of course.
As Labour Governments go this one has been by far the most successful and popular. They’ve never done this well before, all the previous ones struggled far more. I’m old enough to remember Harold Wilson and ‘Uncle’ Jim Callaghan.
But if you want a head of state with the power to remove tired and failing governments then they would have to be elected to give them the democratic mandate. There is no way that Brenda or her ineffectual son could remove a Prime Minister and the only monarch since George III who dared to try meddling in such a way was Victoria who got her wrists firmly slapped for it.
8. July 2009 at 10:28 am :
I wanted to remark on something Jerry said – saying that the world has survived Dubya is like saying that a cow has survived the bite of a Komodo dragon – it may still be walking but it will go down eventually.
Hi Frank
15. July 2009 at 1:34 pm :
If we just sit back and wait Islam will take over and then we wont have to think at all the mullahs with do it for us and people like me(female) can just get stoned. 😉 Millytante